Ignorance Is Your New Best Friend
by KnightOfHeartProtectorOfSoul
Summary: Your name is DAVE STRIDER, and you have just come back from the dead. DaveJohn Vampirestuck AU
1. Life On The Murder Scene

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you are walking towards your APARTMENT. It is currently FOUR AM and you still haven't taken your SHADES off. You act like you can see and act like you aren't scared of the flitting shadows you think you see and that eerie sensation of being watched.

You know your instincts are fine-tuned and well trained. So there probably _is _someone behind you.

You don't turn around.

You think you should have, you think you _really should have. _

Because, in less than a second, you're against a wall, and in great pain.

You see black hair and a scar. You feel teeth in your neck. It's all so surreal. You feel drugged, and it takes you several moments to realise that you are probably dying. The shock and loss of blood, probably. Maybe head trauma? Ugh, it hurts to think.

So you don't. Not about why or how, anyway.

You think of your brother and friends and sister. You apologise for a lot of things. You realise you don't want to die, and you're scared of what comes next.

You wonder what happens next, you wonder if they'll mourn you for long.

Probably not, you decide.

The black clouds your drugged vision.

The last thing you see are the stars.

You hear voices. Your brother. What is your brother doing in the afterlife?

You feel cold.

Is this was death is? A cold soul and distant voices? Maybe you're in limbo? You aren't sure. You also aren't sure if you have a body, you can't feel one anyway. Just a consciousness floating on infinity.

The voice of your brother gets clearer by the second, and soon you can actually understand it.

_You have to be fucking joking. There's no way he's… there has to be a mistake, or something you can do! He can't just die! _

He sounds upset. You want to tell him it's okay. But you doesn't really think it is.

You don't want to be dead.

_I'm sorry sir. There's nothing we can do. I'll leave you to mourn._

You hear your brother punch something.

You hear sobs.

…_Dave…there had to have been a mistake, right? You're my lil' bro…you can't…_

You would give anything to sit up. To tell your Bro that you're okay.

You try to sit up, to go to Bro's voice. That's what they do in movies, right? Go to the voice of the living.

This will to give _anything _to wake up and these attempts to get to Bro seem to trigger something.

_Holy fucking shit. I need a doctor! Right the fuck now!_

You hear this. Loud. Far too loud.

_Dave? Dave can you hear me?_

Yes you can. Bro's voice is too loud, though. Too loud on your suddenly sensitive ears. The cold feeling subsides little, but bodily sensation slowly returns to you. You feels cold hard metal, and searing pain.

You think you scream, but aren't sure. Everything is suddenly drowned out by this pain. You feel those bodily sensations slipping away, and you fight to keep them, even if it comes with utter agony, but it's like fighting a terrifyingly strong current, but you are determined to "Make it up-stream" as it were.

You need to see your brother. You can't die on him like this.

_Shit! Shit! Hang in there Dave! Fuck! _

You grit your teeth against the pain and rejoice in it, you can move again, it seems.

You screw your eyes shut and opening them seems like a bad idea at this point.

Someone shakes you. It smells like Bro. Your nose burns.

You hear the soft scrape of nail against metal, You're clinging to the table you're on.

_Where's that fucking doctor, didn't he fucking hear me?_

Bro sounds panicked.

The fog clears but the pain is the last thing to fade. Your eyes are still shut when you hear yourself flop onto the table and pant softly, but the oxygen seems unnecessary and does nothing for you, feeling more habitual than anything else.

You blink your eyes open. Your brother is holding you to the metal table of the morgue, a doctor has yet to appear.

"It's a fucking miracle…" your Bro whispers, and lets you go. You attempt to find the strength to sit up, but this attempt is shot down by Bro, who pushes you down gently. "Not yet lil' man, we gotta get you to a bed. Preferably home. This place is shit." You attempt to laugh, but it's hoarse and hurts.

You notice how bright it is, and remember they probably took off your shades.

A doctor arrives. She's petite and pale, her short black hair stood stiff with hair spray and her jade eyes soft with a motherly kindness. She carries a clipboard, and you wonder if it has something to do with you on it. You notice the smell of perfume and blood, as well as the hospital itself, and something triggers within you that can only be described as a feeling that she is with you, one of you. A _comrade. _

"Mr. Strider, am I correct?" she shuts the door behind her.

"My name is Kanaya Maryam. Dr Maryam or Kanaya is fine," she shuts the door behind her, and places the clipboard she had been holding down.

"Alright. So, Dave's alive, so you can call off the funeral arrangements and shit, we'll be going as soon as possible, send me the bill in the post." Bro is eager to leave, and you can understand why, he's emotionally and physically taxed and you miss the comfort of your home. Though you get a feeling of anxiety when you think of walking home alone again.

God you're an idiot.

"Already done, the cancelation of post-death arrangements, that is. I volunteered to see what the fuss you were making was about on more of a personal basis." Bro frowns and you look between them, too weak to step in and distrustful of your voice to speak.

"Personal basis? Tell me more." She fixes her coat and clears her throat, before speaking again.

"Dave was pronounced dead around half an hour ago, correct? The doctors had given up any hopes of reviving him, and couldn't find what was wrong with him other than severe blood loss, and attempted an emergency blood transfusion. This seemed to help, but he tip-toed closer to death with every moment, and sure enough, here we are. Now, I appreciate this is an emotionally trying evening for you both, but I feel the truth is better than allowing you to leave without this knowledge.

Dave Strider did indeed die today. In fact, he's dead right now. As am I. You see, I was admitted into hospital back home in New York with the exact same symptoms, with an almost identical result. Your struggle to live, Dave, came at a price." She's turned to you now. And your confusion and fear over what she's saying forces your face into a tense and probably unattractive face. Ugh.

"You are no longer human. You have been turned into a vampire, as insane as that sounds. I understand that it is very easy to call me mad and move on, but it is the truth. Mr, Strider, check your younger brother for a pulse. Any signs of life at all, other than the fact he's awake."

Your brother does as she asks, checking your wrist, then neck for a pulse (avoiding a bandaged wound) and his face falls into one of utter shock and disbelief. He tries again, with apparently the same result, his skin is far too warm on your skin.

"Nothing…" he says, and the penny drops.

_In fact, he's dead right now._

"I'm…Dead?" you whisper, and you understand the searing pain and unusual murder method, and the fact nobody had a motive to kill you, really.

"Undead, technically. You have lost the privilege of death. We both have." You're about to ask her what meant by "privilege" when your Bro cuts in.

"So you're saying I'm going to grow old and he won't have changed a single bit?" Your chest tightens with fear, he can't leave you, nope. No way.

"Yes. Unless he were to turn you, of course." You would never offer your Bro that pain, but you find a selfish part of you wanting too, because you don't want to be alone in the eternity you apparently have to face.

"Hmm. I'll have to think on that one," he surprises you. You suddenly aren't sure that, even if he asked you to, you could turn your Bro.

"What happened to you?" you find yourself asking, and Kanaya's mouth tightens, but she tells you her story regardless.

"I was in university, when I met a man called Eridan Ampora. He was studying History. We spoke for a while and he was a perfectly tolerable man. Out of nowhere, he was an unstoppable and rather angry foe. He attacked me and our shared friend Feferi, who was studying Marine biology, I remember her passion for the subject well.

Unfortunately, she didn't make it, not even into Vampire-hood. I threatened my revenge and Eridan begged for my forgiveness, he exiled himself out of guilt and I haven't seen him since."

You decide that you shouldn't piss Kanaya off, and that she deserves kindness.

"How about yourself?" didn't she know?

"I was walking home, I had been working, I have a sweet job at a club as a DJ, and I'd missed the last bus. And this asshole attacked me in an alley. He was so _fast. _And the second he bit me, I felt drugged up to shit," Kanaya nods.

"A vampires venom changes to fit their intentions. Its chemical make-up responds to your emotions, but when you have the intention to kill, there is always a chance of survival through the method of transformation, and obviously if you are trying to turn someone. Though even if the transformation process manages to trigger itself, some people don't survive the change." You realise how fortunate you have been tonight.

"How does that even work?" Your brother asks, and you remain in thought as Kanaya answers.

"It's unstable and fluid make-up responds to your emotions and chemicals released from the brain, allowing it to change to what it does, by re-arranging it's particles to one of its set forms, so sometimes you get the wrong venom, It isn't the best feature of our species, if I'm honest." Apparently you look worried, because Kanaya gives you a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry, our most lethal venom is saved for only the most extreme situations. There has never, to my knowledge, been a time when a vampire with non-threatening intentions has killed someone by mistake. If you would like, I can give you my personal number, and I can explain in greater detail the world you have now joined, as there are certain customs you will need to know, and I can smuggle blood packs from the hospital until you can find a blood-partner, which I will explain, as I do for myself." From the look on her face, you can tell she feels bad about doing so, and you feel bad too, even though you haven't done such a thing, yet. But you decide it's probably for the best this way.

And so Bro gives Kanaya his and your number, and he says he'll give you the number when you get your phone back, saying that he was given all the belongings you had on you when you died, except for your clothes.

"Now, I will deal with the situation of your revival and send you any appropriate paperwork, I feel it best for you to adjust your new senses to your home environment, since they will be easy to overload, especially at this point. Goodnight Strider's, I hope to hear from you soon. Now, go, tell the people you care about you survived the night."

She leaves.

As she promised, she seems to have handled the situation. You and Bro aren't stopped when you sign out and leave. Nobody objects to your brother carrying you out the door because you couldn't even make it out of the morgue before collapsing. Your nose burns until you reach the night air, which is slightly easier to deal with, but your eyes are straining and you end up closing your eyes.

The sounds of the city are louder than usual and you frown, eyes still closed, as your brother slips on your shades. "I made sure I got these back when they told me you were dead. I was gonna keep 'em with me." His voice trembles a little. He thought you were dead. Your body trembling from weakness and the emotional and sensory overload you are on the brink of experiencing, you pity your brother more than yourself.

You try deep breathing, but the breathing itself does nothing for you, and it irks you. It's a disturbing feeling.

"Dude, for a dead guy you're breathing pretty heavily. Is everything okay?" Your brothers in the driver's seat now, putting the keys into the ignition.

"Yeah...it's these weird senses and the fact that breathing is weird and suddenly unnecessary." You tell him, and he nods.

"It's okay, we'll get you through this Bro, me and you, okay? Now, I told Rose, and she almost certainly told John and Jade that you were in the hospital, so expect either a cluster-fuck of phone calls or three teenagers sharing tea in our living room or whatever." You love your friends, but you aren't sure if you could deal with them tonight.

"Here." He reaches over you and opens the glove-box, inside is everything you had on your person tonight. He hands you your now cracked i-phone.

You would turn it on, but it died before you left the club. Your Bro hands you his portable charger from the glove box.

As soon as your phone is on and functioning, it goes of constantly. You set it down quickly, the vibrations feeling strange on your fingers.

56 messages and missed called from Jade, John and Rose.

You go through them, reading them as their worry increases, the closer to the present the messages are.

It goes off again, John has messaged you for the 20th time.

**EB: Dave? We're seriously worried about you, for the love of all things answer us when you can. **

**TG: I just checked out. **

**EB: OH MY GOSH DAVE **

**EB: are you okay?!**

**TG: I guess yeah. **

**TG: I just want to sleep tbh. It's been a rough night. **

**EB: what happened? What was wrong? Are you alright now?**

**TG: I was attacked on the way home from work. **

**TG: I'll be okay in a bit. I just woke up.**

**EB: holy shit. Okay. Can I stop by tomorrow? With Rose and Jade of course.**

**TG: sure, I'll talk to Bro in the morning and give you guys a time. **

You lock your phone and lean back against the seat. The drive home silent. Bro is still tense, and you are still weak. You wonder if it's because you haven't drank any blood, but you suppose if it was an immediate issue Kanaya would have addressed it.

You hear a chiming noise that you recognise as your Bro's text tone.

"My phones wedged in the cup-holder. What does it say?" You unjam the phone and shakily unlock it, Its Kanaya.

_I Shall Pop Round Tomorrow With Some Blood And Instructions For Feeding, Is That Alright With The Two Of You?_

You examine the odd way of typing for a second, and read the message aloud.

"I said John and Rose and Jade could come visit me tomorrow, so we'll have to get Kanaya in and out before they arrive, I didn't give them a time yet, so it's chill."

He hums and turns a corner, parking the car outside your apartment complex.

You shudder.

You cling to your brother as tightly as you can when he carries you inside. You don't really like being carried, but you feel it your only option. He lays you down on your bed, and you thank him. He lingers longer than necessary with a parental concern filling his features. It's almost like he's scared you're made of glass. You could shatter and cease to exist, or simply not wake up in the morning.

You sleep with your face stuck in a worried frown, and your shades on your face.

It's uncomfortable, but you can't bring yourself to take them off yet.

_Yes, it isn't as good as what I usually do, but I wanna try using this style, practise right? Also, those who are waiting for Blissful Distraction to update, the next chapters on the way (if you aren't, I would recommend giving it a read.) But, here begins a new tale. With vampires, how typical of me. Do leave a review if you feel like it, and I hope you enjoyed! _


	2. Black Holes And Revalations

The next morning, you feel like a man who had been wandering the desert for _several days. _

Your Bro wakes you up, and Kanaya is standing next to him, smiling. "Good morning, Dave. I come bearing gifts."

You are led to the kitchen. There are six bags of blood on your table and upon seeing them your shaking increases, and your pupils are probably dilating, this is what you're going to have to live on, for some reason you're nervous.

"Please take off your shades, I'll need to see your eyes." You do as she asks.

Your Bro looks a little surprised, an eyebrow raised.

"Hmm, yes, you'll be okay for today, possibly tomorrow, depending on how you feel. Now, you have six blood packs here, keep some in the fridge and some in the freezer, don't freeze all of them and defrost them when you plan to feed, because emergency scenarios where you require blood immediately do not leave time for you to defrost it. Once it is defrosted, warm it up in the microwave and cut it open and put it in a specially designated cup, simply because the smell of blood is hard to get off sometimes. If you need to, get someone else to pour it out for you, in case you feel stupidly tempted to bite into the bag." She turns her body slightly more towards bro.

"Dave needs to feed roughly twice a week, maybe three times, but if his eyes become an even more vibrant red, and his pupils become slit-like, especially very suddenly, It means he is dangerously thirsty and _will _resort to violence to feed, and he probably won't be very aware of what he's doing, so it is important that you allow him enough blood to stop this from happening, but do _not _allow him to be greedy with his intake. Like the human body, a vampire will become accustomed to large amounts of blood intake and their thirst will increase." Bro nods, and you gulp. You're pretty dangerous now.

"If you need anything, any help, extra blood, or you get down to one or two packs, tell me as soon as possible, and I will get you more as soon as I can. But, since Dave isn't _hunting _for his food, you'll need to find a way to channel his talent as a hunter, should I be unable to give him blood, and you _must_ sharpen his skills as a fighter, the vampire world can be quite brutal." Bro nods, feeling this isn't too much of a problem.

"I think I can do that." She nods, looking to the various shitty swords you guys have laying around.

"I believe that is all. Your brother and I have arranged that we will go to a café together on Saturday, do keep the day free. The three of us will have a more in depth discussion of the main laws of our people." You nod back to her.

"I'm glad you're feeling more yourself, goodbye until Saturday. Oh, and Dirk? Make sure Dave doesn't take those blood packs before he's supposed too, I know he will be tempted, and if there's anything medically wrong with him, call me, not an ambulance. Humans simply don't know how to deal with vampires."

She leaves in a breeze of perfume and blood, and the door shuts, and Bro tells you to tell Rose they can come over anytime from now. You replace your shades.

You Bro puts the blood away and tells you to keep John away from the fridge. He leaves for his room, telling you to call him if you need anything.

As bros, you had blessed each other with fridge rights. Walk in, take what you want from the fridge, it's chill, but now you're going to have to revoke that right, and probably not tell him why. Jade also raids your fridge regularly, but she lets you know first. Rose always asks first, if she goes into your fridge _ever. _

The three of them arrive around half an hour later, and you are swamped by Jade and John and _scents_. You smell them, soap and skin and cake and dog and metal and books. You feel how warm and _alive _they are and find yourself envious. You find your mind calculating how desirable you find their blood. You shudder.

They pull back, still concerned.

"You're really cold Dave!" Jade tells you, as if you didn't know.

"I know, but I'm fine." You smile reassuringly, and they back off to allow Rose to hug you.

Her hugs are far more delicate than Jade and John's hugs. She smells like books, perfume and lavender. You don't find her blood appealing, and your nose still burns a little, not that it ever really stopped, but it's easy to ignore. You feel comforted by their presence.

She pulls back. "You are rather cold, David. And for a man who was attacked you seem in pretty good shape, I am confused, but glad." You roll your eyes, and hope the gesture was somehow received.

"I was in the hospital for a reason dumbass. He didn't do very much. I was pretty drugged up though, I'm still not quite sure what he did to Me." actually you are, and it's a big fat lie that you don't.

Rose picks up on this, as she always does when you lie, and raises an eyebrow. You give her the "We'll talk about it later" look.

_For the love of god don't mention it now. _

"That's horrible! We gotta have a pizza and movie night soon, you have been traumatized and I simply cannot stand by without food, cheap liquor and only the best shitty movies." It's John.

"Speaking of which…" he gets up and heads to the fridge.

"Wait!" it comes out more panicked than you'd like. He turns around, surprised.

"What's wrong Dave?" He frowns.

"I…I'll get it for you. What were you wanting?" Rose raises her eyebrows further, and Jade frowns, confused. John looks suspicious of your actions, staring at you as if trying to find an answer for your odd behaviour.

"Soda. Is everything okay Dave?" you nod and walk past him, finding it hard to stop yourself from flash stepping. You angle yourself between the room they are in and the fridge as best you can, should anyone come talk to you while you look through the fridge for the soda, and avoid the red packs. You make an effort to avoid them, even with your eyes. You hear them talking, they think you are out of ear shot.

But you soon discover that your hearing has vastly improved.

"…_He's acting really weird. What could be wrong with him?" _

"…_Maybe he's still traumatised and shocked, he was attacked last night. It could be an excuse to have a moment for himself." _

John and Rose.

"_I don't know, that doesn't seem like Dave. But he is paler than usual, maybe he still isn't feeling well."_

Jade.

You return. They turn to you, and act as if they never spoke, and you pretend you didn't hear them.

You give John his soda.

"Did anyone else want anything? While I'm up and being a good host and shit," you look between the girls, but they don't want anything.

You nod and sit back down.

Your friends decide not to touch the subject of last night any further (for now) and nobody dares go to the fridge, and after two hours Rose sends John and Jade subtle hints that they need to leave so she can talk to you. You see it. You sense the change in the air. Jade nods and the two of them make their excuse and leaves, John frowning as he walks out the door when he thinks you stopped looking.

You sigh.

Rose sits opposite you in a couch-chair. You sit on the three-man sofa, allowing yourself to take up the space John and Jade had just emptied.

"So, David. Why did you lie, and what's wrong with you."

You squirm under the unrelenting pressure that is Rose Lalonde. She raises an eyebrow and your clenching and re-clenching hands, and you have to force yourself not to bite your lip.

"Bro?" You call, not quite shouting. This silence was too heavy to break with your voice. Her gaze was weighing on you, her lack of speech worrying you further. Her eyebrow raises again.

Your brother appears in seconds.

"Is everything okay Dave?" you know he's trying not to sound worried.

"Rose can always tell when I lie about anything, you know that. She's stayed behind to interrogate me, as is her way." You tell him, not even looking at him, studying your sister carefully. She seems amused at your speech. Knowing that you're telling the truth.

"I see. What did you ask him, Rose?"

Rose is curious, you never call for Bro in these situations. _Ever. _

"I asked him why he was acting so strangely, and what reasons he had to lie about why he was put in hospital." Bro thinks for a moment.

"I can see why he did. The truth behind what happened was…strange. And draining." You scoff at the pun he probably ironically used.

"Then do tell me the story. I have all day." She gets herself more comfortable. The woman is relentless.

Your Bro sighs and sits next to you. "She is trust worthy Dave, and your friends deserve to know anyway, Besides, Rose is your sister. Siblings share."

You sigh in defeat.

One of the views you and your brother share is that it is better to know a difficult or confusing truth than to live a pleasing lie, though you suppose you betrayed that value by lying in the first place.

"Fine, I'll start." You tell them. Rose nods, and remains silent, patiently waiting for you to begin.

"My phone died while I was at the club. I missed the last bus, and started walking home. I was almost home when that guy attacked me. He attacked my neck, more specifically, and I _did _feel drugged up, that was truth." She says nothing. Waiting for one of you to continue.

"I got the call at about twenty past four that my lil' bro had been admitted into hospital with extreme blood loss and they weren't sure if he would make it. I got there as fast as I could, and they gave me his stuff and took me to his room. There he was. Pale as shit and attached to a blood-pack. The nurse shoved past me to get in with a heart monitor, and she checked his pulse before setting it up. She told me to call the doctor.

He was pronounced dead two minutes later. He was moved to a morgue and people were making calls about whether he was an organ donor, they did ask me, but I didn't answer them." Rose looks shocked by this point, looking between the Striders and trying to keep calm. The news having the expected impact on the blonde woman.

"I was sitting with him in the morgue. They weren't allowed to do anything without my permission and I didn't speak much, only to ask if they'd made a mistake, if there was anything they could do." His voice sounds level, but you can imagine he's remembering it and remembering the pain and sadness he must have felt.

"I wasn't sure what I was planning on achieving. I sat there with him. Then I thought I saw his eyebrow twitch." You listened carefully, curious to hear what he saw in comparison to yourself.

"Then suddenly he's screaming and thrashing and I'm yelling for a doctor-" He stops to clear his throat and stop the rising panic in his voice.

"But none showed up, so I hold him to this table, and I wondered why nobody had come in to see why there was _screaming in a morgue. _But nobody came. Then a few minutes later he flops down again, and if he wasn't panting so hard I would've thought I'd lost him again." you raise an eyebrow. And continue for him.

"From my point of view, everything was loud voices and cold floaty-ness in some sort of endless void, which was kinda shit. And then there was this _pain, _and I'd never felt anything like it. I wasn't sure if I'd screamed or not, I was focused on getting back to Bro. I heard him talk to the doctor. So I knew that the more pain I was in, the closer to waking up I was. And when I did wake up I was super relieved, and then the doctor finally arrives, and her names Kanaya, and she explains what had happened." Rose still listens, but you think she may be struggling to believe you.

"I see, well, this is certainly very difficult to believe. But I get the feeling this isn't the worst of it, am I correct?" you and your Bro nod. She kinda had that coming.

She sighs. "Alright, lay it on me."

And so Bro continues where you left off.

"She explained that Dave _had _died, that he's dead _right now. _He was turned into a Vampire. Thankfully Kanaya is also a vampire, so she explained some basics and sorted the paper work out. Now, obviously, I didn't believe her. But she told me to check for Dave's pulse. Go on, do It." you sigh, how many people were going to try and find a pulse on you in the near future?

Rose's eyes go wide and her face screams that she's _completely_ shocked and speechless, and she is resisting the great urge to call bullshit. You can see it in her eyes.

"There…There is no pulse. I checked several times." She did. Way to state the obvious, Rose.

"Yup, I'm dead as a doornail. But not." She steps back. Unsure how to react.

"Don't be scared of him Rose, we're going to keep him under control." Scared of you? You look at her again, sniffing the air around her. She's fine.

"I'm not, merely dumbfounded. And if you would get your great undead schnoz out of my space, thank you Dave." You freeze, realising you had leaned closer to her.

"Sorry. I was trying to see how you were feeling. I'm such a considerate-asshole brother, you are truly blessed." She laughs, seemingly relieved your personality hasn't changed.

"Well, I am certainly intrigued. I would like to know more about this vampirism, I'll tell you if I think of any questions. I'd rather like to go home and think on this information. But first, two things." She says, and Bro raises an eyebrow in her direction.

"One, I think you should tell Jade and John about this, and two, what could _possibly _be in your fridge that you didn't want us to see." She smiles at you both, a sickly sweet smile that is surely poison, as almost all of Rose's smiles are.

"Blood packs, Kanaya dropped them off before you guys arrived." You answer, and she nods, standing and making sure she has everything she arrived with.

"Think about what I said, Dave. They deserve to know." You sigh as you close the door.

_Hey hey, another chapter. I didn't do a disclaimer, but do I even need too? I obviously don't own these characters. The Huss does. Come on people. _


	3. Little Bit Of Truth

The next day, John calls and says he's sorry he and Jade left so early, and invites you to his house for movies and pizza (and cheap liquor, though it had gotten to the point that it was one of the things you didn't need to mention, you both _knew _it would be there. Along with Doritos and Cake for you, since John's dad still sends cake over, even though he moved out almost a year ago.) You're nervous. You ask your brother if you should feed before going to Johns, and he says it would be a good idea, since today is the day you may want to feed, and you would be alone with John for hours.

He makes you wait until you're about to leave for John's. By this point you consider locking yourself in your room to stop yourself. It starts out as a tolerable ache, and soon progresses to general pain, in your throat, stomach, everywhere. Though it's nowhere _near_ as bad as when you were laying on that metal table in the morgue, its pain none-the-less. Temptation pulls you. You even glance at Bro a few times, despite being put off slightly by the scent of his blood and repulsed by the thought of feeding from him, you wonder if you could get a taste before he kicks your ass. You cringe in disgust and decide it's not worth it. So, before you and your Bro leave (you refuse to walk anywhere alone.) to make it to John's for eight, He pulls out a blood packet and makes you wait in the living room while he prepares it.

Your throat hurts. _You _hurt. Everywhere, the thirst is clawing through you when Bro leaves you in the living room. The smell of _warm blood _drifts through the door and you find yourself ridged and twitching, incisors suddenly much longer than a human would need them to be. You're going to lose your shit. This is the first time you've experienced this and it solidifies all too well that you aren't human, and Kanaya wasn't joking. He hands you a sports bottle filled with what you _need. _He gives you privacy.

You actually _groan _when you take your first sip. It was water in the vast desert, and salvation from the pain you had dealt with. But it didn't feel quite _right. _There was nothing to sink your teeth into, you even contemplate biting the bottles sides. It's a disturbing impulse, but you can repress it easily enough. You wash the bottle out, and use mouth wash to try and get rid of the blood-smell your breath has taken on. Turns out your gums are bleeding. It must have been the first quick retraction of your apparent fangs. You barely notice when they come and go, as they feel as natural as your normal teeth, so you make sure to double check that you're dentally acceptable before going to find your brother. When you return to the living room, your Bro is already there. You distantly think maybe you heard him move around the apartment, but with your habit of blocking your newly heightened senses you can't be sure. (It's a habit you barely noticed you picked up. You also send a mental apology to Kanaya for ignoring her advice to stay indoors for the next few weeks.)

He twirls his keys around his finger. "Done? Good. Let's go."

* * *

You arrive one minute before eight, and thank your Bro, telling him you'll keep him updated and to pick you up when you call him, since you don't know how long you will be watching a movie or whatever. John had originally asked you to stay the night, you refused as politely as you could. He greets you at his door, and you smile at him. Despite the barrage of scents leaking from the door. You think you can smell the dust in the carpet, and the cleaner he uses.

He orders two pizzas, and when they arrive you have to stop yourself from puking. They smell _horrible. _It's a heart-breaking discovery. Your once beloved pizza is now a disgusting pile of grease. "So, what do you wanna watch man? Anything you want, this is to cheer you up!" you pick Pirates of the Caribbean, Curse of the Black Pearl. Because even the saddest of pizza related discoveries cannot compare to the wonder that is Captain Jack Sparrow. He asks and offers food and drink, many times, eventually showing concern for the fact he hasn't seen you eat anything since you got out of hospital, and you feel obligated to drink and eat at least _something. _You can't take those sad eyes on you any longer.

You feel sick. Those slices of pizza and vodka-coke tasted _horrible. _You have made a_ mistake. _

You feel dizzy, the movie is almost finished, and you and John are huddled together in blankets and silence. He lays himself over your lap, and you sit normally, a hand in his hair, and your body trembling. Were the lights on, he would see how sick you look. He's fallen asleep on you. You move his head silently and with great care, tucking him in with surrounding pillows and cushions. You notice your improved night-vision. Yes, this is a good power. Your head spins and the impending urge to vomit makes your head spin and dead stomach lurch. You feel weak, and your senses have dulled. All apart from your eyes, which seem sharper, even behind your shades, in the darkness. You feel like you're going to be sick at any second, like a ticking time bomb of vomit. Can you vomit? Probably.

You write John a quick note before leaving, on the notepad you know he keeps on his kitchen counter-top.

_Dear John. _

_You fell asleep dumbass. Bro arrived and I couldn't bring myself to wake you up. Sleep well nerd. I'll talk to you in the morning. Thanks for inviting me over, and thanks for the booze._

_-Dave._

Your brother does notice, when he picks you up, he points out that you look even deader than you did previously. You know he's worried. You can tell that nagging voice of his thoughts ponders if he is about to lose you again. "Dave what the fuck." You shake your head. "Drive. Quickly." He says nothing, but does as you say. You run to the door, you're through it in less than a second. The world is spinning, spinning, too fast…

You're by the toilet in a blur of supernatural flash-stepping, the world spinning still, your eyes and mind unable to keep up with your speed. Throwing your shades to the floor, you vomit into the toilet bowl with sickening sounds and a ghastly smell. It makes you puke again.

Blood. Vodka, coke and pizza. More blood. You're shaking.

Bro kneels next to you, he rubs your back in a confused silence, waiting for it to end. You feel like the two of you bond in that silence. A silent comradery where he helps you stave off the aches and pains and the ravenous thirst you find revisits you. You _just fed. _And although you are sure you could drink blood forever and never feel completely thirst-free, you had felt as normal as you had since before all this shit went down. Now you feel like you did before you fed at all. You blame the red blossoming in the toilet water, vomit and bile. You retch, with nothing left to throw up in retribution for your stupidity. Your body forces you to dry heave long after your initial vomiting session.

Since you died, Your Bro's been softer on you, no puppet attacks or strife's, and part of you misses it. But honestly, having him take care of you is what you need right now. You make a choking noise and lay your head on your arm, laid carefully on the seat of the toilet. Seemingly done, but either unwilling or unable to get up from the bathroom floor. Bro calls Kanaya.

She's there. Stroking your hair as you lay on her lap. Her motherly tendencies showing. She hums softly, and you wish you could fall asleep, but something keeps you awake. Thirst. You think of the blood you threw up. A vampire that just threw up blood can't be a good thing. "Dave, you're going to need to feed again, okay? Can you move?" you blink slowly, the lack of shades making everything far too bright. Kanaya looks down at you after asking this, and you frown. Can you?

You try.

Nope, can't do shit.

Again.

Ugh.

"Alright. Do you want to wait?" you shake your head violently. You look over to bro again and whine.

You're put off by his blood. Probably because you're related, making his blood genetically similar to your own, which you can't drink at all. But a little incision in the wrist maybe…because he's still human. You _could _still feed on him perfectly fine, you think. Probably.

No. he'd kick your ass. You just know it. (Though you think if it were a more serious need he would offer. He seems like he would be the heroic type.) Kanaya's out of the question, but damn do you want to feed off of someone who isn't related to you or a vampire. You hate yourself for wanting such a thing, but a starving vampire has his needs. You'll feel the guilt later.

"Maybe we should try him feeding on an actual person, what if these packs aren't working?" Bro asks, worry evident, and Kanaya shakes her head. "Until he finds a consenting blood partner he has too, he's only this Ill because he ate human food, _which _by the way, was _incredibly_ stupid. Any time you eat human food, this will happen, I thought you not eating was common sense?" she scolds you, but you can't bring yourself to care too much. "I had too. John doesn't know, and he offered…" you find it sounds like a far more pathetic excuse aloud than it does mentally. But his eyes had begged you, begged you to eat, to show him that you were recovering, that you weren't starving yourself for a reason you haven't told him. You know he was just worried. Kanaya sighs and shakes her head, combing her fingers through your hair still.

"Then you must tell him, He may be able to protect you, and cater to your needs, maybe someone will volunteer as a blood donor." You can't imagine they would. "Fine, tomorrow." You mumble.

You decide you like your hair being played with.

You didn't worry about Rose fearing you. Rose is as bad-ass as you and more terrifying than you will ever hope to be. But John. John is a different case. John. John might be scared of you. Or just think you're mad. Because if you didn't go through what you did, and your Bro hadn't felt that lack of life in your animate body, you would think it was madness as well. Hell, _you _can feel how dead you are, especially now. So hollow and empty and dead. You think vampires crave blood to give them a moment of euphoria, whether simple, sexual or simply a feeling of pure contentment. A blissful second where they are alive again.

"Fine, Tomorrow. Do tell me how it goes." You nod against her thigh. "Now, his feeding. Do I get another packet out?" Kanaya nods to the source of the question, your Bro. "I'll explain blood partnerships while I'm here, should you wish to enter one with one of your friends." Kanaya is calm as the scent drifts through, but you keep fidgeting and occasionally letting loose a frustrated growl, without your consent, earning a light slap to the hair she was messing with. It doesn't hurt, but you get the message. You find a low rumble resonating from your chest anyway, much lower and quieter than before. You know Kanaya hears you, but she does nothing about it. The sound scares you with how inhuman it is. You try not to think about it.

Bro brings the cup through. You suddenly decide sitting up and drinking that is the best idea ever. Your mind screeches for you to drink it all as fast as you can, and you feel a short burst of desperate energy pushing you onward. It's gone in seconds. You have your moment of lively euphoria, vivid and fleeting. Blood around your mouth and lighting up your eyes, Bro seems to tense when he sees you like this, a monster, certainly not the Dave he knew. You would think he was scared if you didn't know your Bro better. You aren't sure if there is much he's afraid of, other than losing you. You know that scares him, you think he would sooner face his own death, which in turn scares you. You collapse back onto the couch, and curl up to Kanaya, the sickness ebbing away and you're craving satisfied for now. The shame and guilt begin to creep in again.

_Monster._

"Now, blood partnerships. A bond of high intimacy between a living being, commonly humans, and a vampire. Normally lovers, partners or close friends. They consent to having their blood drank whenever the vampire needs on the condition they aren't killed and are allowed a rest period. This is an incredibly intimate place for someone to have in your life, as they have the power both to build you up and take you down. Which is why I urge you to tell your friends, it's a role family would find quite difficult to fill." Amen to that. If it's that intimate then family would be a no-no anyway.

"This normally leads to marking, mating or both. Marking being injecting a chemical causing the, I'm assuming human, you mark, to emit a pheromone that is a mix of the humans and your scents, called being "scented", these wear off after three or four days, If you haven't properly mated, but while active they tell other vampires that the human is claimed, and it against our laws to bite a claimed human, unless a previous arrangement has been met, or the human has more than one vampire partner." You listen, and can practically feel Bro's concentration from where you are. He really cares, he wants to know more about what has happened to you and your people, and it makes you glad you have a brother to stand by you.

Wow that was cheesy as fuck. Never again.

"So, I am proposing one of your friends take this place." She finishes, and you consider this option. "Not Rose." You say, and Bro agrees. "Rose?" "My sister. You'd like her." The comment was made offhandedly and Kanaya nods, you think she wants to say something, but she doesn't. "Jade and John then." Bro continues. "Meaning you have to tell them." He adds. You sigh for what feels like the hundredth time that evening. "I said I would tell John, that'll do bro." Bro scoffs. "I'm stuck with an eternal angsty young adult, how will I survive." You laugh. Your Bro's an idiot. Bro then turns serious. Never mind then.

"Imagine if you turn me, and I'm stuck with your whiny ass forever."

There are no words.

"Hope you like angsty bitching and eternal whining, Bro" he laughs, and you see Kanaya smile at your banter.

* * *

_at long last. I literally forgot to update this I am so sorry_


End file.
